Welcome back to the JFL everyone. After a long off season, this year marks the first year with all of our returning owners.
It's time to get off the phone with the fantasy football help desk (although many of you need it)
- I Love Scott!
And
Gather around for another edition of the JFL Weekly RECRAP
Week 1
Matchup 1
2 Tom’s - 126.3
@QB Issues – 148.9
Our first matchup was an early meeting of pre-season powerhouses 2 Toms and QB Issues. This game got off to a decent start with 2 Toms throwing up good wood with the Steelers on Thurs. 2 Toms got good production on the back end of the week from Brady as well. Unfortunately, there just wasn’t enough juice left in the tank to overcome dominant performances by Jessica Simpson’s ex-boyfriend, Roy “thank god I’m not in Detroit” Williams and MJD. The hottest story to come out of the 2 Tom’s locker room is that Tony Gonzalez, after this week 1 disappointing loss, is considering going back into retirement to be a celebrity judge for “Oprah’s Big Give Part 2”.
Matchup 2
Quarterback Poo – 108.3
@Colon Cleanser – 130.4
The first requirement to analyzing this game was to get past the latent homosexual Ibis and Kimbo Slice’s brother telling me to guard my emergency exit. Seriously, that black dude is what I always envisioned “The Gooch” from different strokes to look like. Once I got past all that, I was able to see the Adrian Peterson is still the craziest running back since Barry Sanders. Thanks to Peterson, Kimbo was able to surge past quarterback U with ease. Many of you have commented that Matt’s draft strategy was as suspect as a monthly investment statement produced by Bernie Madoff. Well, Matt has given tons of validity to the whisperings and showed us why he should consider using auto draft.
Matchup 3
Kiss my ass – 105.8
@Recessionary Pressure – 151.7
Cash Money has a tendency to come out of the gate strong (and then fold). Could this year be different? Cash, who was ranked very low in the preseason draft rankings, screams out of the gate with 151 points to just squeak by QB Issues for weekly high. He got crazy scoring from Cedric Benson (yes, he is still in the league) and Reggie Wayne (Thank God Marvin retired), along with a decent showing from Ochocinco. Julius Jones and Wes Welker showed up for Chad, but unfortunately no one else did. Will this be another year of criticism and disappointment for these perennial middle of the pack clubs, or will one of them ascend to the top of the league. Only time will tell.
Matchup 4
Liz – 91.2
@Doggy Humper – 126.8
Liz, fresh off his disappointing JFL Super Bowl loss, probably thought he drew the easy card when he checked the schedule and saw Doggy Humper in his sites. Think again. There are very few teams that wouldn’t have stomped Liz’s measely 91 points (Pull Pin, where you at!), but Doggy Humper showed some muscle in this matchup. Could Drew Brees and Devery Henderson be the next Rice/Montana, Brady/Moss, Rachael/Ross. Who knows? What I do know is that starting Ted Ginn and Anthony Fasano week after week is not likely to pan out. I also know that Liz needs to get more than 20 points from someone in addition to Justin Gage (on the bench) to survive. Finally, what breakdown of a Liz game would be complete without pointing out that his bench outscored his starters. Way to go buddy.
Matchup 5
Defending Chump – 75.2
@Jacksonville State Rules – 116.9
Allow me to be the first person to thank Greg Jennings for preventing this matchup from being the worst matchup of the day, week, month, year, ever? Good god people. Did you sleep through the draft? 16 players in this matchup scored less than 16 points, including the Bucs D that lost 3 points. I think the days of the Buc D are dead. The only mention that defending chump gets in this recrap is the following: 75 points?, give me a break. Just for reference, Doggy humper scored 87 with 3 players.
The My Hero Award of the week: Cash Money
This award goes to the weekly points winner.
The Donkey Humper Award of the Week: Defending Chump
This award goes to the Donkey Humper, low scorer, of the week.
The WTF Award of the week: Liz
The award this week goes to Liz for benching a better team than he started. At some level I would like to believe he was sending some sort of message to the rest of us…other than “I’m a douche bag guys. Thanks for letting me play.”
Standings
b
